RELATIONSHIP ABUSE

Source: The University of Cincinnati

Most people in relationships experience occasional disagreements with their partner, which is normal. Disagreements can even be healthy for a relationship when they are resolved constructively and peacefully in a reasonable period of time. Sometimes, however, disagreements become abusive, which is unhealthy or even dangerous to the overall relationship or an involved partner. Abuse in relationships can take the form of physical, emotional, verbal, sexual, or economic abuse and typically includes threats, intimidation, intense criticism, forced isolation, and/or physical violence. The overwhelming proportion of victims of relationship violence are women, but violence has been known to be perpetrated against men as well. Relationship abuse and violence occurs among all races, ages, classes, and religious groups. It is a sadly frequent component in heterosexual, gay, and lesbian dating relationships. It damages and destroys committed relationships such as marriage and long-term partnerships as well as the new relationship.

Important Facts About Relationship Violence:

It is now estimated that at least one out three high school and college-aged youth experience abuse at some point in their relationships. It can range from a single episode to chronic abuse.
Only 20% of violent crimes are perpetrated by strangers. Half are committed by the person's partner.
Battering is the single major cause of injury to women …more than injuries caused by muggings, rape, and car accidents combined. It is the second leading cause of death to women age twenty to forty-five.
U.S. businesses are estimated to lose about $5 million each year due to abuse-related absenteeism.
An abusive incident rarely occurs only once, abuse usually increases in frequency and severity over time.
Chronic abusers display a typical pattern following physical abuse episodes. They tend to be apologetic, …on their best behavior, …promising that it will never happen again. This is usually exactly the behavior the victim has hoped for and often causes her to decide to remain in the relationship.
Repeated abusers almost never change their abusive responses spontaneously. It is not the victim's job to change this aspect of his personality. He must seek professional assistance if he is to change.
Victims of especially severe abuse often "identify with the abuser" in order to survive. This means she will actually begin to agree with the criticisms and perspectives of the abuser while her own personality, opinions, and views fade to the background. This is a serious set of psychological events called the "Stockholm Syndrome."

No one deserves to be victimized by abuse in order to have a relationship.

If you (or someone you care for) are being abused, or if you have questions about whether there is abuse in your relationship, there are extremely effective resources you can turn to for help. If you are concerned that you might be engaging in abusive behavior, there are programs that can help you control and change your behavior.

If you have difficulty with any of these techniques, contact your counseling center for additional assistance.

Source: The University of Cincinnati Psychological Services Center, Evening Clinic, and the Division of Student Affairs and Human Resources
The University of Cincinnati Psychological Services Center, Evening Clinic, and the Division of Student Affairs and Human Resources provide this fact sheet as a service. This fact sheet is intended for individual use and cannot be replicated or otherwise published without our permission.

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