Do a Self-Inventory
by Dr. Gregory Hall
Bentley College
The experience of prolonged loneliness
is most often facilitated by certain common life experiences. The most
frequent of these include times of self-doubt, environmental change
and periods of transition. A self-inventory focused on these
experiences is essential in developing an effective plan to
overcome chronic loneliness.
Self:
Often people experiencing periods of loneliness report
a corresponding diminished sense of self. This in-turn usually
affects one's self -confidence in social situations. The following
self-perceptions are commonly associated with emotional loneliness:
- A general sense of inadequacy, especially in the company of
other people
- High levels of anxiety and doubt about initiating
social engagements
- Lower self-esteem than is the
norm for you
- A general lack of self-confidence
- A negative attitude regarding your physical attributes
- Lifestyle changes such as, decreased physical activity; changes
in dietary habits and; an increase in passive activities
- A belief that people in your support network are less interested
in you or have less time for you
The above items with which you identify will need to be addressed in
your action plan.
Environmental Change:
At various points in our lives we
experience changes in our environment. Some of these changes we
may consider minor and others we may perceive as major. Both positive
and negative change results in increased anxiety proportional to the
magnitude of change. Environmental change may also contribute to our
feelings of loneliness. Some of the more common examples of
environmental change are listed below:
- Relocating to a community in which you are without your normal
support network of family and friends
- Accepting a position at a new place of employment
- Leaving (voluntarily or involuntarily) a familiar place of
employment
- Leaving a familiar organization, association, team or place
of worship
- Diminished financial resources
- Diminished physical health
The above items with which you identify need to be considered as you
develop your action plan.
Transitions:
All of us experience life transitions periodically.
Transitions frequently offer opportunity for personal growth and
development. However, transitions are sometimes awkward, uncomfortable
or sudden. One of the by-products of certain transitions can be a
sense of loneliness. The following transitions are often associated
with loneliness:
- Developmental transitions i.e. adolescence to early adulthood;
mid-life; aging
- College or university graduation
- Death of a loved one
- Career change
If you have recently experienced life transitions, they
must be considered in your action plan.
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